My First Post

I recently lost a sister, she was one of my six sisters, (seven girls including me,) she was the fourth girl, and the fifth child in a family of ten. I place sixth sister, seventh child. Her funeral was very nice, but it was brought home to me how little is known of the Pearson family as we grew up. Her children knew very little about their mother as she grew up in a family of ten and in questioning my own children I found myself in a very similar situation. I don't want my children to know nothing of the life I led as a child and not being a good writer as some of my sisters are I decided to write down the memories I have as they come to me. Now everyone who knows me knows that I jump from one thing to another sometimes not even finishing a complete thought before starting a new one. Actually Kathryn, the sister I lost, would get particularly frustrated and say Carma, finish what you were saying. The sad thing now that as I am getting older it isn't that easy to finish once I start a new thought I forget what I was saying first. Oh how age is a mixed blessing, you have the experiences that have made you wiser but because you sometimes forget things people tend to discredit that knowledge. Now see how I get off on things completely unrelated? Bare with me I do have some great stories.

I always felt special having double cousins, my mother's brother Donald Bagley married my father's sister Lillian Pearson. I felt that set me apart from other families, these double cousins were like siblings I mean everything was the same just different households. Uncle Don and aunt Lillian were by far the favorite of all the aunts and uncles on either side, they were incredible people, maybe that is why all my siblings strive to be the favorite aunt or uncle to our many nieces and nephews. Anyway after the funeral of my sister Kathryn, my two double cousins that were there, Colleen, and Marilee both said to me Carma, I didn't know you had such a bad childhood. It caught me off guard and I sort of stammered well you know growing up in a large poor family, with a father that was rarely home and parents that didn't get along all that well it was not the greatest situations but I didn't internalize things like some of them. Marilee said you all wanted to get out of there as fast as you could and Judy was passing by and she said well I didn't want to get out early. We had to cut the conversation short because my children were afraid we were getting left behind for the cemetary prayer. I really pondered that statement and thought to myself I was happy, my life was good, my memories growing up are good. I determined to call my cousin and let her know her memories were right, we were a normal family, poor, but partly because of her father we never really went without what was important. I really regreted that I hadn't been faster on my feet and told her then everyone sees things differently and Kathryn wasn't happy growing up but later she was the instrument that brought us together as a family unit. I am a firm believer that you have to look at the final chapter before passing judgement and now Kathryn has reached her final chapter, so if her being unhappy with her family as a child prompted her to do something about it later in life and bring us together I can't be sorry or look back with regrets and I don't think she did either. When she passed away Kathryn loved us all very deeply and of that I am sure.