Today is my 41st anniversary. I think in the Pearson family I have been married the longest. Now I am sure Roy and Martha and Kathryn and Leon would have been ahead of me but unfortunately our Father in Heaven had different plans for them. So now as the 7th in line I have been married to the same spouse the longest. Today has been a very crazy day, LaMont said he guessed this was one anniversary we wouldn't forget any time soon, I laughed, he's right, some have been better, some have been worse but the fact remains we have been married 41 years!!! I am sure that is a shock to some of you, there were times I never thought we would make it this far but we have. LaMont and I have had some mighty rough years and some wonderful years. I say rough years first because they are actually what made many of the good years better. I have been so blessed but sometimes I take the blessings for granted usally when things are going good, so now and again trials come my way to bring me back down to earth. I am so grateful LaMont and I have stuck together, sharing the hard time enjoying the good times. We have 5 amazing children and 10 incredible grandchildren. They each have talents that when blended together make us an amazing group of people. Here's to many more years, good and bad but for sure together. I love you LaMont

Well I have been gone so long now we are at 52 years in 2 weeks. We have come so far literally. We now are in Enterprise Utah and we love it. My heart is full when I think how much Michele has done for us. We sold our Buckeye house and now we have a lovely home with no mortgage  Chelsea has married an amazing young man Bradley Gardner. and expecting her 3rd baby another little girl. She has Madison, Aaron and now her new little girl will be born the end of November. We are so excited being a great grandma is just as fun as a grandma was.

 Taylor is in Pocatello ID gaining to Pharmaceutical school. He is married to his sweetheart from school Kimberlee Bishop now Gardner. Kim has graduated college at Dixie. Chantel’s health is still a worry she had surgery today August 30, 2021.to repair her fistula. She said she is home doing good. Callie had been making soap now she makes pins they are really cute she and Cydni do door dash on the weekends. Tara works at fun center in Goodyear. TG is home we hope working on his GED. Chantel was able to retire from Southwest Airlines which really helped her family. Tod still works for the railroad so he is able to fly to his destinations. 

Morgan’s children are in college Jaron is in Tuscan and Paige goes to a community college. They are really an amazing family. 

Michele is In Enterprise and her daughter Rachel is heading to Baton Rouge LA in a couple of weeks to serve a mission. We are all so excited for her. Trevor my youngest grandchildren is in 6th grade. 

Then we come to my youngest sons Jonny boy is coming to live with us. He’s lonesome and would love to find a wife. Shawn has a home in West Valley City where he and his girlfriend Ada live. 

So much going on but for the moment life is good. 

Harold Roy Pearson Jr

I wrote Roy's full name because I thought it was great he was named after dad. I really looked up to Roy when I was a child, he seemed so smart and so together. Mom always bragged about how good he did in school, how everyone just seemed to respect him, how he could get any job or grade he wanted, teachers really liked him, and so on, but then mom said that about all her sons, I think she was partial to her sons. Any sisters out there agree? It's okay her son's brought us new sisters to love and laugh with, they are a special blessing to us all.

Whenever Roy was around it seemed there was laughter. He was such a trickster, pulling pranks, telling jokes and having a good time. It seemed like he and Marian, and Arlene and Anna always had so many friends and dates, what social life's they seemed to have. I think that is one of things I remember most about all the older siblings, they were popular and knew how to have a good time. I can still picture the house back then, watching them have a good time and sometimes they even let us little ones join in. I did love to watch and laugh. I don't really remember much interaction with Roy and the sisters, mostly it was with his friends and David. It seemed he had friends and dates, worked, went to school and was always busy.

Our house had been a boarding house, (the polite way to say it) back in the old days of Midvale so many a night we would wake up to someone trying to get in and mom yelling for them to go away. There were beer joints (as we called them back then) not far from where we lived and the old guys from the smelter would get drunk and want to come and sleep it off at the house like they used to. One night mom and dad was gone and one of the sister, I don't remember which one screamed in the kitchen, we went running in and she said someone had been looking in the kitchen window. Roy went to the window and looked out and said he couldn't see anyone but there was tracks in the snow up to the window so he was going to go out and try to find who it was, he didn't find anyone and then he went back out tied to scare us again.

Another thing I remember he wouldn't approve of me telling but it is actually funny to me now and I am sure all you mothers can relate. One night while I was asleep Roy came into my room sat on my bed and peed, my room was right across from the bathroom and I guess he got confused in his sleepy state. I screamed and when he woke up, he said no way did he do that. Well he did. He would probably deny it to this day.

Mom always told me Roy sucked his thumb like me. I was a real die hard when it came to giving up my thumb but mom and dad always stuck up for me. Mom said she tried to get all her children to suck their thumbs, the ones that did were much easier to handle. Arlene did not fall into that category and mom said that when Roy was little he said he wished he was a girl. Probably having so many sisters he felt out numbered, but Arlene on the other hand was a real tom boy, thrill seeker, and she wished she was a boy. I think it was mom or Arlene that told me that Roy and Arlene would sit down by each other holding hands and Arlene saying "I wish I was a boy" while Roy said "I wish I was a girl" over and over again, mom apparently had told them if they wished hard enough it might happen. Keep in mind that this all here say on my part since it happened when they were very little, but I was told that story on more than one occasion.

I remember Roy coming home from the air force to visit although I really don't remember him leaving, I do remember him coming home to visit. Maybe I remember him coming home because mom was busy making sure the house was clean and fixing food. Isn't is funny how some things stick in your mind. I can picture coming downstairs in the morning and Roy sitting there. I must have been apprehensive or stood back because I remember him saying come in I don't bite, but I was in awe.

The first picture of Roy I posted is one that hung on our wall for as long as I can remember. I would look at it and think how handsome he was. I think mom had that picture done when he graduated from high school. I know she was always proud of him and his many accomplishments and treasured that picture.

When he was in the service at Biloxi Ms he met Martha Hammonds. I remember him bringing Martha home and thinking she was so beautiful and so sweet. Everyone fell in love with her. She seemed shy at first not leaving Roy's side, holding his hand. It could have been she was so far away from home and around complete strangers but she soon warmed up and seemed comfortable. You know I remember Marian's and Arlene's weddings but I really don't remember Roy's. I couldn't tell you where they got married or anything about the reception. I do remember her family coming, that's probably why I don't remember anything else, boy were her brothers' cute. I had such a crush on Herb, he wasn't the cutest but he sure was the funniest and happiest. Dave was drop dead gorgeous but Herb was fun. After they were married they were gone until Roy got out of the service, then they returned to Utah. Something else I don't remember is if Sabra was born in Utah or while they were in the service. If it was when they were in the service they come back shortly after because she was probably 4 to 6 months when I remember her. I asked Roy where they got her name and he told me that while Martha was pregnant they went to see a movie called Cimmaron with Glenn Ford, the lead female was named Sabra and they really liked it because it was different. Sabra was another beauty and I remember Roy being so protective of her. I know shortly after Roy and Martha returned to home, Martha's mother and brothers came to Utah to live. They were there for a long while. Dave went to my school he was actually my age, and they became so popular with their good looks and adorable accents. I was heart broken when they moved on to new friends but we still stayed friends and had some fun times, they were the most "popular" friends I ever had.

I don't remember where they lived until they moved into the house that had been aunt Goldie's and uncle Milo's house in West Jordan. I would go and babysit for them and by then they had Carla too, she was born with a hole in her heart. I remember being afraid to tend her, afraid something might happen but I didn't tell them that because I loved to babysit, so I just held her the whole time never letting her cry, she had turned blue once when she was crying so I wasn't about to let her cry. Roy always paid me so it was doubly good, playing with the cute babies and having spending money.

Roy was a fireman with Marian's husband Duane and he was going to school at the U. I think he might of worked at a grocery store or sold insurance when he first got home from the service but I remember him being a fireman.

When I was in High School mom and dad moved to California and in the first summer Ellen and I came to Utah to stay with our older siblings. I stayed at Arlene's and Ellen stayed at Marians' but I went to Roy and Martha's' house sometimes to babysit or just visit and see the kids. Martha made me a dress for the Prom that summer and Roy was so proud of Martha and her abilities, he kept saying I would never have been able to get a dress that pretty and one that fit so well if I had bought it. I was so excited to wear it to the Prom and I did feel pretty. Roy was so proud of his family and so loved his grandchildren they brought him such joy. I love that Cherise named her son Pearson I think that was a wonderful tribute to a grandfather she loved.

Roy, like dad was a genius with so many talents, and though he didn't live as long as we would have liked, he lived life to it's fullest. He blessed us with a wonderful talented family to continue on. Martha and the children have been so wonderful to support the family in all things and keep communication open. I am sure we all enjoy their blogs, the facebook updates, and the Christmas cards they always send. What wonderful assests they are to our family.

Marian

I think I will give my perspective of each of my siblings from my childhood days. I will have more memories of Judy, Ellen, Dan and Keith because we were closest in age but I do have memories of the older ones and special things they did for us. I will start with Marian as she is the eldest and work my way on down. Keep in mind this is my perspective and as I talk with some of the other siblings I wonder how we could grow up in the same house and surroundings and have such different views. I know we are a product of our experiences in life, but we definitely come into this world with our own personality and together that must be what produces such different views.

Marian always seemed social to me when she lived at home and was in High School. I would say she had lots of friends and I always remember her having a boyfriend. There was Ernie, he lived by grandpa Pearson and had a cool car. I couldn't tell you what he looked like, I just remember the name and something about them breaking up and that was tragic.  I remember her being moody about boys and thinking I didn't want to have boyfriends if they made you crazy.  I will have to ask her who she shared a room with, I can't remember.  Did she share the room Judy?  I know which room Judy had, Kathryn, Anna and of course me.  I don't remember Dan, part of me thinks it was with Kathryn, there was a double bed in her room, twin beds in Judy's it seems like in my room there was a single and a double bed, I am pretty sure Ellen shared with me, no one really wanted to, I was no better at cleaning my room than I am at cleaning my house now.  Anna had the bedroom across from mom and dad and it had a double bed.  Arlene stayed at grandpa Pearson's a lot and I think when she was home she was in the room I had.  I know I slept in Judy's room a time or two but I will tell that story later. Funny how I don't seem to remember where the older ones slept.  I have pictures in my mind of Marion coming home from school and doing things with friends, I remember her graduating from high school, and dating Duane, but otherwise they are pretty vague but I would swear she always had a boy friend. She didn't seem to have a lot of interaction with the younger children until she married and then she did a lot for us and was really good to us and fun to be around.

What I remember the most is after she married Duane Jacobs and started to have children. I remember getting new white shoes and a new dress for her wedding. All the sisters were in her line, the dresses were green, she might have even made some of them, I think Anna made some too. I bragged about it in school thinking I was pretty cool having a big sister getting married and being in her line and all. She let us go stay with her sometimes even before she had children I loved that. By the way "us" was Judy, Ellen and me. To me she was so lucky, I thought Duane was so handsome and they seemed happy enough, I know I loved to be around them and their family. I remember deciding it was cool to get married and have kids, that was what I wanted to do in life and I really never changed my mind much.

Her children were so adorable, still are, and so fun. I remember going to her house and staying with them, tending the kids, and helping out. Now my helping out was playing with the kids, Ellen and Judy were always much better than me at cleaning and doing chores but I loved to tend the kids and I think I was pretty good with the them. Marian would sew clothes for me in trade for baby sitting and buy me shoes and take me places. We went to movies, drive in movies no less. I especially remember one year for Christmas she made us girls all matching nightgowns. I loved them they were flannel and so cozy. I loved flannel pj's from then on. When Stephany was born, the very first grandchild. I thought that was just the grandest thing, me an aunt, I bragged about that at school and no one else said they were an aunt again something special about me. The night she was born mom and dad went to hospital to see her and took us kids, we waited in the car and then went to an ice cream place on state street to celebrate. I can't remember the name of the place but I could show you where it was and they had good ice cream. I think Duane was at military boot camp or something like that and Marian came and lived with us on Smelter St for a while. I am pretty sure she lived with us when Mark was born, There was a room dad had remodeled for grandpa Pearson when he came to live with us and that was where she stayed. I do remember her not being particularly happy living with us but it wasn't very long and I was glad when she moved out for more than one reason, she was happier, we could go stay with her and she had more room and sewed for us again.  I think that was when they moved in the duplex on or around California Ave.  Duane became a fire man, eventually Anna's husband Vern followed and Roy too.  In the summer we would stay at her house more than just weekends.   She was always a good cook and said she would have a large family.  She did too.  Her and Duane would have friends over and they had the family over for dinner a lot.  When I got married she had my open house at her house in Sugar House.  She always liked to have people around, she was always social that has never changed.

Marian was a great older sister. You know I think our sister bonds started earlier than I first thought. I looked up to my sisters, they took good care of us and I knew I could depend on them and I did depend on them.  When her children came along I thought Stephany was so beautiful, there was never a baby as angelic as Mark and Lincoln had more personality in my book than any other child, he made me laugh and then Jenny came along, what an angel. I loved to baby sit. It was so fun to hold them and everything they did was amazing.   By the time Jenny came along I was getting older too, and by the time Marian divorced and had her second family I started having a family too. Her first 4 children have always held my heart, they were the first of my nieces and nephews and I got to be part of their life. She has an amazing family, all of them but babysitting and spending time with her older children was really an important part of my life.  I stayed with her allot after her divorce from Duane and then her second family started and we were pregnant together.  

I am going to have to ask her some questions about her earlier life until I started writing this I didn't realize how much I didn't know.  I do know she has an incredible family, they have all grown up to be a terrific group of people, full of fun and they bring lots of laughter to our family reunions and parties.  Great Job Sis, my hat goes off to you.

Our House

This house actually holds most of my childhood memories. In this picture you can see the front porch, what you can't see is the back porch and the wrap around roof. When you went out of the kitchen door it was onto a porch and to the left was a room or walled in porch, it had shelves and lots of junk and stuff was stored in there. I know we hated to have to clean it out. To the right the porch wrapped around to the end of the kitchen. Straight ahead on the porch was a sink, dad eventually tore the porch down, I for one was sad . Dad told me it was because it was dangerous and we children would not stay off the roof or out of the porch room. I do remember one of the older siblings going out the door one day and a wood plank, which the floor was made up of, broke and they hurt their leg pretty bad, it was Roy or Kathryn I think. That was the beginning of the end for the old thing. The porch was so fun for hiding, there was lots of stuff to hide behind or under. It was dark in there and you could look out the broken planks at the bottom and see others as they were looking for you when we were playing hide and seek or kick the can. We also spied on Anna when she was dating Vern, they were mushy and when we giggled Anna would say, I think it's the cats. Vern lived in Midvale too so they would walk on dates. Marian was usually in a car when she came home from, or went out on dates, but back then the boys came in for their dates and we could tease Marian then. She hated it big time but mom never tried to control us.

There were lots of big trees, some were close the house and we would hang ropes from them for swings, we would go upstairs climb out the windows onto the porch roof grab the rope and swing off the roof, now that was fun. Dad would get mad, he said it was dangerous and Anna did fall and get hurt pretty bad, no broken bones though. Dad worked out of town all the time so we still had free run of the house and yard, mom was too busy it seemed to pay too much attention to what we did outside until someone got hurt then she went ballistic. Actually you never wanted to go to mom when you were hurt, she came undone. The house was a ramshackle and there was never any grass or flowers, dad tried a time or two but he said we didn't take care of it or stay off it so there was just a lot of dirt, but I actually liked it, there were sheds in the back we would climb up on the roof of those and play, I remember we would holler at cars and duck down when they went by, I always thought it was funny.

Out the back door before the sheds there was a cellar, I hated to climb down the dirt stairs to the cellar but that was where mom stored her bottled fruit and vegetables. There was a tree over that as well and the cellar was a dirt hill. We had ropes off that tree and we would put a board on the bottom of the rope to create a seat for the swing. We couldn't swing really high on that one because it was pretty close to the house. We would also hold on to the rope and swing off the hill and back. We would slide down the small hill in the winter on the snow.

The fence you see to the side of the house had wood accross the top. It was like 2 by 4's and we would walk the fence like a balance beam and see who walk it the fastest without falling, I fell more than once and it hurt, it seemed like I always had skinned knees.

You can see the front porch with the balcony in the first picture, we had slumber parties on that and it was another play ground in my eyes. It was another sore spot with dad. He knew it would fall down on someone someday, but we continued to play on it and have sleep overs, sounds like we didn't mind dad too much but he was gone all the time and you know kids, we felt like all was well. I always wished he would just try and make it more sturdy and not tear it down.

We had lots of stray cats, and I think that is why we all hate cats. Grandpa Pearson would come over and get the baby kittens, put them in gunny sacks with rocks and throw them in the Jordan River. Boy would he be in trouble today, man oh man he would be tarred and feathered for just thinking about it. We were all glad when he came and got them, they were a pain in the neck and of course they were wild and not very friendly. We did play with the more friendly ones.

We played a game called Annie I Over, we would throw the ball over the roof of the shed and the person on the other side would catch it. I am not exactly sure how it was played anymore, I think you would trick the person on the other side some how, I bet Judy can remember, she was good at it. Like I said there was lots to do and play, I loved it. I thought growing up in a big family was great, there was always someone to play with and our house and yard had everything anyone could want in my eyes. I really was happy.

This is how the house looked when the porch was torn down. It looks like the windows are broken, I am not sure if they are or when this picture was taken it may have been just before the house was torn down. You can see the big trees I was talking about, the sheds were off to the left and behind the house, none of them can be seen in either picture. Dad did do some remodeling off and on, I don't think it ever got painted after the porch and balcony came off, Anna would know more, her and Vern actually lived in it for a while when we first moved to California in 1965. There was so much to be done it was hard for her. There was never any carpet or extra's it was very plain. If it got painted on the outside it would have been by Anna and Vern. They did plant some grass that actually took in the front and side of the yard. I think mom and dad just eventually left it, they may have received some money for it from the city but I don't really think so. It was torn down by the city who eventually owned the property. I have lots more to tell about this house and life there, like I said I was happy there, I have lots and lots of great memories.

4TH of July

I am on a shuttle headed to Las Vegas and then to home. I chose the $5.00 more expensive shuttle and it has WI FI and better seats, more comfy all the way around, so now I can post while riding pretty cool huh? I chose the 4th of July since it is that time of year. I love the 4th and always have, usually my family plans a trip of some sort or we definently get together to picnic and watch the fireworks. This year we were going to the Grand Canyon but cancelled when Kathryn passed away, it was for the best, somehow I didn't feel like celebrating. My love and excitement for the 4th goes back to when I was a child. Remember me saying what a great uncle my uncle Don was? Well he was a Bishop in the Cannon stake in SLC, they lived in what I considered a mansion, it was beautiful, always clean, a two story house and the stairs were kind of like a winding staircase, (really they just turned but it seemed elegant), and they even had a dishwasher, (remember that was in the 50's). They had a Baby Grand piano in the living room and carpet too, and the basement was all finished, not a cellar like ours. But I am off the subject again, at least you can see why I loved to go there. Oh, one more thing, they had a swing set cemented in the ground and you could go so high I loved swings too. We did have a rope in a tree that was fun too but I have stories about that later. Well anyway, back to the 4th, every year the stake had a big carnival at Jordan Park. It was just down the street from uncle Don's house and we got to go. Uncle Don gave us lots of tickets, we could buy cotton candy, play fish and get what my grandson calls cheesy souvenirs, but oh how I loved and treasured them, that is why I let my grand kids always buy them at the grocery store, I loved them and felt special. Anyway we could buy hot dogs or hamburgers, and the best part, when we used up the tickets, he seemed to have more, it was way better than the fair. When we were tired we could go to uncle Don's house and rest for a while then it was back for fireworks. My fathers cousin Wanda Sims' husband was the caretaker of the park so we got extra good places at the fireworks, (or so I thought). Marilee was the double cousin Judy, Ellen and I went to the park with. Between uncle Don and the Sims I felt like I was related to all the important people back then, I mean wow, uncle Don's had so many tickets and I was related to the caretaker of the park, that had to give me special treatment. Now I know that uncle Don bought all those tickets and I was probably a greedy little thing but oh how fun. You know I don't remember the older kids there much, maybe they didn't like to hang out with the little kids. They must have gone to uncle Don's allot too because Marian must of met Duane, (her first husband), at uncle Don's, his family just lived down the street from uncle Don and she was good friends with his sister Elaine to. I remember Ellen and Judy there with me and even at a young age I remmber mom letting us go off with just Marilee, how fun it was. I must have been young because it seemed like a huge event, now I realize it was not all the big but it was super then. I think grandma Belle came sometimes I remember her sitting at table and checking in with her sometimes. Anyway that is why I love the 4th of July, cheesy souvenirs, fireworks and getting together with family.

Kathryn

I had Keith send me the family pictures of us growing up and I spent a lot of time looking at them and I came to the conclusion, (my personal opinion), that Kathryn might not have been as unhappy with us growing up as we thought, maybe she just felt lost in a large family of mostly girls and looked outside the home for validation of her worth. She always did her best and praise was something none of us received. Think about it, her whole life she never let anyone do anything for her, she had to be the giver never the taker. I told her once when she was refusing my help that it is as important to learn how to receive as it is to give because in refusing to receive help you are denying others the blessings they deserve or want and by always giving to others because it makes you feel good you could actually become an act of selfishness. Well we all know she was a bit stubborn and I still didn't get to help. As I think back even when we sisters got together she sometimes got very frustrated saying I want a chance to talk, no one listens to me. She actually should be congratulated on her ability to see she needed more and satisfied those needs instead of becoming bitter and resentful against her own family and we know she didn't do that because again she later altered the course of her own family. I show the picture of us at the casket because it shows that now it is too late to talk to her and give her the chance to say what was really in her heart. Let us, the remaining siblings say what is in our hearts to each other, share the love openly we feel or each other. We were never an, I Love You, at the end of a phone conversation or when we parted, type of family. It has carried over to my children as well, I don't say I love you to my own children like I should, or let them know how proud I am of them. I hope Kathryn knew I loved her, I can't say for sure that she did, I didn't say it, we did finally start to hug more, for many years we didn't even do that. You know she didn't tell her children she was unhappy as a child, they asked us for incite of her childhood and we said it, I am sad I can't ask her, did anyone ever ask her? I would really like to know if that was a false assumption on our part. Lets the rest of us make sure our story is told correctly. I want it said how much I love and appreciate all that my family has done for me. I would never have been able to reach the age I am with any degree of sanity (and that is debatable) if it wasn't for the part each of you have played in my life. You are the best. I am so happy I was born a Pearson. I do love you. (all of you)

My First Post

I recently lost a sister, she was one of my six sisters, (seven girls including me,) she was the fourth girl, and the fifth child in a family of ten. I place sixth sister, seventh child. Her funeral was very nice, but it was brought home to me how little is known of the Pearson family as we grew up. Her children knew very little about their mother as she grew up in a family of ten and in questioning my own children I found myself in a very similar situation. I don't want my children to know nothing of the life I led as a child and not being a good writer as some of my sisters are I decided to write down the memories I have as they come to me. Now everyone who knows me knows that I jump from one thing to another sometimes not even finishing a complete thought before starting a new one. Actually Kathryn, the sister I lost, would get particularly frustrated and say Carma, finish what you were saying. The sad thing now that as I am getting older it isn't that easy to finish once I start a new thought I forget what I was saying first. Oh how age is a mixed blessing, you have the experiences that have made you wiser but because you sometimes forget things people tend to discredit that knowledge. Now see how I get off on things completely unrelated? Bare with me I do have some great stories.

I always felt special having double cousins, my mother's brother Donald Bagley married my father's sister Lillian Pearson. I felt that set me apart from other families, these double cousins were like siblings I mean everything was the same just different households. Uncle Don and aunt Lillian were by far the favorite of all the aunts and uncles on either side, they were incredible people, maybe that is why all my siblings strive to be the favorite aunt or uncle to our many nieces and nephews. Anyway after the funeral of my sister Kathryn, my two double cousins that were there, Colleen, and Marilee both said to me Carma, I didn't know you had such a bad childhood. It caught me off guard and I sort of stammered well you know growing up in a large poor family, with a father that was rarely home and parents that didn't get along all that well it was not the greatest situations but I didn't internalize things like some of them. Marilee said you all wanted to get out of there as fast as you could and Judy was passing by and she said well I didn't want to get out early. We had to cut the conversation short because my children were afraid we were getting left behind for the cemetary prayer. I really pondered that statement and thought to myself I was happy, my life was good, my memories growing up are good. I determined to call my cousin and let her know her memories were right, we were a normal family, poor, but partly because of her father we never really went without what was important. I really regreted that I hadn't been faster on my feet and told her then everyone sees things differently and Kathryn wasn't happy growing up but later she was the instrument that brought us together as a family unit. I am a firm believer that you have to look at the final chapter before passing judgement and now Kathryn has reached her final chapter, so if her being unhappy with her family as a child prompted her to do something about it later in life and bring us together I can't be sorry or look back with regrets and I don't think she did either. When she passed away Kathryn loved us all very deeply and of that I am sure.